AFTER A SPOUSE DIES

The death of a life partner is heartbreaking. After a spouse dies, many people wonder how to even begin to rebuild their life. Of course there needs to be a period for grieving, which is a time when life sometimes  seems to stop in many ways. Although other family and friends may seem to have moved on with their lives, someone who has recently lost a life partner will likely need more time to return to being fully involved in life. 

If you have recently lost your life partner, it's important to know that every person grieves in their own way and in their own time, and that there are no rules for this process. The way that your partner died,  the type of relationship you had, the type of social support you have, whether you or not you have a job outside your home, your culture and family background, and your own psychology and personal response to loss, all influence how you respond to this life-altering loss.

In addition to the pain of losing a love, there are innumerable life adjustments that need to be made: preparing meals alone and eating alone; taking care of all the household and financial tasks alone; possibly needing to learn new skills in order to accomplish the added responsibilities; and sleeping alone, just to name a few. These and many other changes that occur after the death of a life partner can be painful, frustrating and confusing. Other people may have advice about how to move forward, and about what you "should" do at this point. This unsolicited advice can sometimes be helpful, but may just feel uncomfortable in other instances.